My personal Coat-of-arms

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". "Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad." - Christina Rossetti" -admin

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"Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian Customs agent stops them and tells them: - "It'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro." - "Vot do you mean it'z illegal?" asks the German driver. - "Quattro meansa four" replies the Italian official. - "Qvattro is just ze name of ze automobile", the Germans retort unbelievingly. "Look at ze papers: zis car is designt to kerry 5 persons." - "You can'ta pulla thata one on me!", replies the Italian customs agent. "Quattro meansa four. You hava fivea people ina your car and you are thereforea breaking the law." The German driver replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your zupervisor over, I vant to speak to somevone vA-z more intelligence!" - "Sorry", responds the Italian official, "he can'ta come. He'sa busy with a 2 guys in a Fiat Uno." -admin

"A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him that she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write "spaghetti" on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy. Six months went by, and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and said, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you." Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the hospital emergency room. The head medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs; two without."" -admin

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